Have you ever wondered why some people’s homes and lives are so uncluttered, and others’ aren’t? I’ve discovered five skills that must be mastered to successfully declutter!
Finding clutter solutions has fascinated me since I was a teen, and for a while, I thought people were either born with the “messy gene” or with the “neat gene.” I figured I hadn’t been born with it, so there wasn’t much I could do.
But the more I read blogs and books about simple living, minimalism, habits and productivity, I began to realize that the skills and mindset to successfully declutter were just that – skills and mindset that could be learned and honed with practice.
In From Clutter to Clarity, we work on the five below and build many more onto them over the course of six weeks. These five skills are foundational to learning to declutter, organize, and maintain it for the long haul:
Five Skills to Master Decluttering:
1. How to ask the right questions.
If we don’t ask the right questions, we won’t find the right answers! In my experience, questions like “Do you need this?” or “When’s the last time you used this?” aren’t super helpful, and here’s why. When asked if we “need” something, our most common response is, “I don’t know!” After all, that’s probably why we still have it – we don’t know if we need it or not. What if we need it “someday?”
Plus, we smart and creative types can always think of something we could use that particular item for, so even if we haven’t used something recently, it doesn’t mean we never will. And when do we decide the “expiration date” is – 6 months? A year? There’s too much gray area there.
On the other hand, when we ask, “Does this spark joy?” the answer is either “yes” or “no.” It doesn’t matter if you just bought it or if it’s been in your closet for 10 years – if it doesn’t spark joy, you can let it go. Not everyone can easily recognize what “sparks joy” for them however, so I also like to ask, “Does this still serve you, or has it served its purpose?” (it’s purpose might be to teach you what NOT to buy!), and “Does this belong with you in the life you want to live in the future?”
When we focus on our “ideal life” that we’re creating, decisions become clear.
2. Overcoming fears of the future.
“What if I need this later? What if I get pregnant again unexpectedly? What if…” Overcoming those fears is a challenge, possibly because there’s been a time when what you fear actually happened! Especially if at some point in your life, you feared not being provided for.
However, there’s a cost to allowing your fear to dictate your choices. If you struggle with clutter, you know this. Allowing your fears to dictate your choices costs you peace, rest, clarity, and joy. Nine of out of ten times, the risk of regret for getting rid of something is less than what clutter is costing you now.
Take the fear of “What if I need this later?” We mask it as being “frugal” or “practical,” but really, we don’t trust God to provide for our every need. What if you do accidentally throw out an important receipt, or donate our maternity clothes and then have a surprise pregnancy? If the thing you fear happens, do you believe God will provide for you? Are you living like you believe it?
“What if I regret this decision?” Regret is real, and I don’t want to minimize it. But the truth is that the number of times I’ve actually regretted getting rid of something are SO few and far between, and pale in comparison to all I’ve gained from not letting clutter take up my life anymore. Even if we later feel a pang of regret, it doesn’t last! Ultimately when we let this fear stop us, we don’t trust that God can work all things together for good.
3. How to make decisions.
A wise woman once said, “Clutter is nothing more than a postponed decision.” The mail piles up because we have to decide what to do with each piece. The closet overflows because we have to decide whether or not to donate those clothes that don’t fit us anymore. The cabinets overflow because we’ve collected kitchen gadgets over the years without deciding what actually is useful and what’s a waste of space.
The key is to avoid decision-making fatigue. We make a million decisions every day, and each one takes energy. The best way I’ve found to avoid decision fatigue is to have a simple rubric of questions to ask when decluttering, plan the best time of day to declutter when I’m feeling fresh or I’ve at least prepped for dinner or other decisions. Have a plan for what to do when you’re stuck on a decision. Three options:
- set it aside and move on to a new category and come back tomorrow
- put it in the donate pile for now, then re-evaluate on donate day to see if you’ve missed it
- pack it into a box with the date on it, and if you don’t use it by then, donate it? The simple rubric of questions, plan for the best time of day, what to do when stuck, what to do when things come up
4. Take responsibility for you.
So much is actually in your control, once you decide to stop blaming others (even if they are partly responsible) and commit to leading by example. Once you take responsibility as the gatekeeper of your home, you’re no longer the victim of your children’s toys. Once you take responsibility for emotional spending, you can find alternative ways to comfort yourself and work through those feelings.
If you continue to blame your lack of time, number of kids, hoarding genes, level of energy, etc., you won’t be able to maintain your decluttering progress. The energy you’re spending on rationalizing why things are the way they are could actually be spent on getting creative and finding solutions. “You’ll either find an excuse, or you’ll find a way.”
5. How to create a new vision for your life and home.
Why are you decluttering in the first place? Decluttering takes a lot out of you – in the process, you put your past in order and do a lot of mental and emotional work. Having a deep, compelling “why” is key to keep you going. If your “why” is just to have a nicer space, dig deeper – what benefits will you get from having a decluttered home? How will it affect your family? How will it change the way you see yourself?
Once you know your “why,” that vision for the life you want, you won’t be tempted to bring clutter back in, or allow it to say. Maintenance becomes easy when you’re clear about what supports your vision and what detracts from it.
What could change in your space, schedule, and soul in 30 days? If you want to learn how to successfully declutter, this could be for you!
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