“My husband is a pack rat, if he would just declutter…” “If my kids would just pick up, my house would be clean!” Sound familiar? Our homes would be so clean if it weren’t for people living in them, right? LOL. Today we’re tackling the issue of having a spouse who isn’t into minimalism or decluttering as much as you are, and four ways to get your husband to declutter. Plus, I’ll share what NOT to do, from my personal experience and Marie Kondo herself.
In case you’ve missed it, we’re going through a series on decluttering and organizing each Friday. So far we covered 10 Sneaky ways your clutter is costing you, and the 3 reasons most of us fail at getting organized, and 5 signs you MIGHT have too much stuff.
Let’s get into it.
Here’s the bottom line, the secret to getting your husband to declutter his stuff:
You can’t.
You can’t.
You can’t make him do it.
I KNOW. I hate that answer just as much as you do, but it’s not all hopeless. Here are four things you can do to help your husband declutter:
“Although such stealth tactics generally succeed and the items discarded are never missed, the risk of losing your family’s trust when you are caught is far too great. Besides, it just isn’t right. If you really want your family to tidy up, there is a much easier way to go about it …”
Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Power of Tidying Up
4 Ways to Help Your Husband Declutter
1. Focus on what you can control: You!
Allowing yourself to stress out over your family members’ stuff or worry about what they’re not doing is just creating frustration in your life.
Pointing out someone else’s failure to declutter is often a sign that you’re neglecting to take care of your own space. It’s human nature to redirect and shift blame. First confront yourself. Are there areas you could declutter more? Then choose your response to your spouse. Remember, people are more important than things.
2. Make requests
Make requests, not demands. Ask him to move particular things to a place it doesn’t bother you, confine it, etc.
For example, when we shared a closet, I gave Brian a tote and asked him to keep only the sentimental stuff that fit inside. Otherwise, it would take over our closet! This kept it contained. It also helps for you each to have your own space, and to hold your boundary on that space.
Ask him to declutter with you too, just remember that he might not be ready to yet.
3. Model it – this works!!!
“To quietly work away at disposing of your own excess is actually the best way of dealing with a family that doesn’t tidy.”
Marie Kondo
Lead by example. This works with your spouse as well as your kids. Never in a million years did I think Brian would ever go through his clothes, but he did! And, even after the book incident I mentioned in the video he even decided to get rid of some books.
Actions speak louder than words. When your life is transformed, it’s contagious!
4. Reward his efforts, even if it doesn’t look the way you’d like it to.
It’s my dream for Brian to let me help him organize his tools, but if it never happens, that’s okay. The fact that he has, of his own volition, undertaken cleaning the garage and organizing his tools is worth celebrating!
Let your spouse know how much you appreciate it, even if it doesn’t look how you would like it to.
How do you and your husband work through clutter?
Related Posts
- 10 Sneaky Ways Your Clutter is Costing You
- 3 Reasons We Can’t Get Organized (And How to Fix It)
- 5 Signs You MIGHT Have Too Much Stuff
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