Summer stresses me out.
Why? Because it’s supposed to be “fun.”
Routines and schedules go out the window, and many summers, I’m torn between wanting to cram all the “fun” things into our extra-long days – all the swimming, the road trips, the bonfires with sticky s’mores, the homemade popsicles and new recipes to try on the grill, the pool parties and playdates and vacations – and just wanting to rest. Simplify. And take a nap by the pool.
As a working mom, I’m torn between wanting to make sure our days are full of activities, so we can’t help but have great memories of this summer, and also just being tired. A couple weeks into the summer, I’ll be totally over waging The Great War of Toddler Sunscreen Application and totally ok with ice cream for dinner. I’ll be starting to wonder, is it fall yet? And yet, feeling guilty for not trying hard enough to make fun summer memories.
But over the last couple years, I’ve been learning how to actually make peace with the expectations I set for myself to create the perfect summer. Because the truth is, it’s often the things that go wrong that make the best memories, like the time we went to Disney World and got strep (thank you Jesus for antibiotics!). Or it’s the most mundane moments, like sitting in the back porch shade on a July evening, blowing bubbles. I constantly remind my Type-A self of these four things to actually have fun:
1. Find out what’s actually fun for you.
Not what the mom influencers on Instagram make look like fun, not what your mother-in-law says would be a fun vacation for the whole family, not your family tradition that you do every summer just … because, that you all secretly dread. What do you find actually fun?
The first time I asked this myself, it took me a long time to come up with an answer. Some of the things on my list, like “read books, baking, take naps” didn’t exactly scream “summer fun.” So I decided to read easy beachy fiction, and instead of baking, try some fun frozen popsicle recipes. And naps, well, those are always seasonally appropriate.
This step is vital – real fun leaves you feeling refreshed. If you spend your summer doing what other people find fun, you’ll feel frustrated, or worse – if other people’s idea of fun is white water rafting, and your pace is more of a leisurely pool float. This also frees you from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). You can scroll through your friend’s white water rafting photos and think, “Good for her!” while happily sipping your iced tea in comfort.
2. Create life-giving routines.
That hyphenated word in the middle there is the key. What routine would allow for more free time, or more time outdoors, or more rest?
For me, one such routine is a Sunday afternoon “staff meeting” with my husband on the couch, when we’ll go over the week’s schedule, fiances, house projects, decisions we need to make, anything in particular that we need to discuss. Afterwards, I feel better prepared for the week, and less dread heading into Monday.
I’ve also tried (although I’m not super consistent) putting chicken in the crockpot and chopping produce after we get groceries, so we have food prepped for faster meals during the week. You could also make smoothie cups, overnight oats, or salad in a jar to make meal prep easier.
Think about your points of friction. Doing laundry all weekend? Try doing one load every morning. Dishes piling up? Paper plates. What routines would make the summer easier?
3. Don’t neglect summer soul-care.
You’re familiar with self-care. “Self-care” has become a booming industry, and sometimes we downgrade taking care of ourselves to equal just getting a manicure once in a while. While I do believe in the power of a good nail polish color, when I think of “soul-care,” it’s easier for me to see the value and worth of caring for myself, not just physically, but on a spiritual level.
What would feed your soul this summer? Maybe it’s taking time to read a couple chapters each night before bed. Maybe it’s getting a babysitter so you can go somewhere to have some time of just silence – a tough commodity when kids are home all day. Maybe it’s getting more sleep, or saying “no” to other things so you can spend intentional time connecting with a good friend. Maybe it’s getting into some paints and getting in touch with your creative side. Schedule time for what will nurture your soul, and you’ll find more energy and grace when you need it.
4. Remember, making memories is all about attitude.
You can’t force fun. You can make space for it, and try to create the right conditions. But ultimately, you have to decide to enjoy the moment. Because you know what’s not fun? Yelling at your son for not getting into the car seat fast enough because you’re going to be late for the meet up at the splash pad, or starting a road trip by snapping at your husband and then riding in awkward silence for two of the four hours.
Having fun and making great summer memories doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, or take a lot of time, or be a lot of work. It could mean choosing to play in the rain, even when you’d planned a pool party.
It could mean getting lost on your road trip and choosing to treat it as an adventure.
It might just mean holding your plans a little more loosely, and keeping your eyes open for pleasant surprises.
Join Simply Summer
Want to make the most of this summer? Join my 10 Day Challenge: Simply Summer!
Each day for 10 days you’ll get an email explaining that day’s challenge and a beautiful worksheet with short journaling prompts, time-blocking worksheets, checklists, and more.
Find out more about the 10 day email course and how to enroll here!
What are you most looking forward to simplifying this summer?
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