Imagine if each thing in your home that isn’t where it’s supposed to be made an actual sound – like a radio playing static, or a different musical tone. Individually, they’re not that loud. But collectively, it’s a cacophony of background noise. You can still talk over it and have a conversation. But that level of noise would make it hard to think clearly and even function. If it builds up over time, we might not even notice it. We’d wonder why we’re feeling so on edge, irritable, not sleeping well, and overall uncomfortable.
Watch the video:
When you declutter by removing all of those items that are no longer serving us and give everything a place, it’s removing a bit of that background noise, bit by bit, until you have true silence. Imagine how that would feel after living with static in the background for so long!
With that silence, you can actually relax, rest, be truly present for the people in your life, and be still enough to hear yourself think. Your relationships, your mood, and your physical health would all benefit from peace and quiet.
It’s easier to visualize how sound affects us than it is inanimate objects.
“It’s not THAT bad,” we might think as we survey our closet packed so full we can’t see the floor. Or, “This is just what being a mom of young kids is like – chaos everywhere. I’m focusing on what’s more important: my kids.”
We might not even notice the pile of mail, the overstuffed coat rack, the toys everywhere, the dirty dishes on the table … at least not consciously. We see the row of things on the counter and repeat the mental note to take that to the recycling, take that other thing upstairs, pay that bill, etc., barely noticing the constant hum in the background of all the things we need to do, the decisions we need to make.
What we don’t realize is how badly that background hum affects us, and the people around us.
Studies show that living in a cluttered environment raises the level of cortisol, the stress hormone, in our brains. It’s like having your fight or flight system turned on low, at all times. That constant stress in the one place we should be able to truly relax can cause a host of problems, physical, mental, and behavioral health issues.
And as moms of young kids, it’s not like we need another source of stress in our life!
10 ways you might not even realize your clutter is costing you:
1. Clutter costs you your mental health
Anxiety is a result of having your fight or flight response system out of wack, where it’s running all the time. You might not consciously recognize you’re feeling anxious, but when’s the last time you took a deep breath?
The stress might manifest for you as a sense of restlessness at home. Feeling itchy, like you just want to go do something, somewhere. You feel unsatisfied and discontent in your life as a mom of young kids, and you feel guilty for feeling that way.
But when it comes to making changes, or even trying to get out of the house for a while, you struggle with a lack of motivation or focus and feeling easily overwhelmed. That’s also a function of the clutter and that constant hum in the background.
From there, it’s easy to understand why we feel irritable and snap at our kids or lash out in anger at our spouse. We’re already drained of patience by 10 am.
“I’m such a bad mom,” we think, and we spiral into sadness and even depression. “It’s always going to be like this. I’m trapped.”
Decluttering is a process of reclaiming your space, your mental clarity, and your sense of agency. If you can declutter your closet so it feels good to get dressed every day, you start your day off feeling happy. You also save time, so you’re not rushed getting to school, and you don’t snap at your kids. Then they’re happier and have a better day too.
Instead of just being a stuff-manager all day … cleaning stuff, putting away stuff, buying stuff … you can actually prioritize and make real progress on whatever projects you take on. And that gives you a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, which in turn makes you happier, which makes the people around you happier, and this cycle of positivity continues.
2. It’s robbing you of quality sleep
Even in a totally dark room, you still know it’s there. Studies show a correlation between clutter and poor sleep. The stress of a messy room can keep you from falling asleep quickly, and sleeping as deeply. Without restful sleep, your mental health is affected in all the ways we just discussed – anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, depressed, etc.
Sleep is essential to decision making and clear thinking. Someone once said, “clutter is postponed decisions.” It’s easy for your clutter to get worse when you’re too tired to make decisions, plus you’re more likely to spend money on impulse purchases. And that further compounds the problem!
Add that on top of the interrupted sleep we’re already experiencing as moms of little kids. I’m not even talking about the newborn stage – our kids continue to interrupt our sleep for like, six years! We can’t afford to lose any sleep over clutter.
3. Clutter could be affecting your weight
Studies have linked messy environments to lower self-control, especially around food. “When the experimental kitchen in which participants were tested was disorganized and messy, and they were put in a low self-control mindset, students in the Cornell University lab ate twice as many cookies as those in a standard, non-chaotic kitchen,” concluded a 2017 study in an article from Psychology Today. “In other words, you’ll reach more for the sweets in a cluttered setting when you’re feeling out of control.”
Not only are you more likely to overindulge, but your decision-making skills could also be hampered by not sleeping well. So when you need to choose between working out and sitting at home, it’s harder to make the choice that’s better for you, even though you know you’ll feel better afterward.
And who really wants to cook a healthy meal at home when their kitchen is a mess? It feels too overwhelming, and eating out is easier.
What if that extra weight we keep beating ourselves up about isn’t baby weight, it’s actually clutter weight? If we get rid of the stuff in our physical space we don’t need, our body might just do the same.
4. It affects your physical health too
The effects of longterm stress on your physical body are numerous, including headaches, muscle tension, chest pain, fatigue, changes in sex drive, upset stomach and digestive issues, and like we mentioned, sleep problems.
If you’ve ever realized your shoulders tense up when you’re in your home office, you can relate. Clutter also correlates to higher blood pressure, hypertension, heart disease, and diabetes. That’s a seriously high cost.
You need your energy and physical health to be a fully present, engaged mom who can keep up with her kids and has the energy to take them to the park and actually play with them instead of just watching from the bench.
5. It costs you at least an hour a day
That’s just in time spent looking for things, according to the book Organizing from the Inside Out, which reports that the average U.S. executive loses an hour a day from missing stuff. And an executive is someone you’d think would have their stuff together! It’s not just looking for keys, thinking about how much time you spend looking for an electronic document, old email, or a particular photo.
One hour a day translates to 45 workdays over the course of the year. That’s over a month of 8 hr days spent looking for things! If you could get that one hour back each day, you’d practically gain a month of vacation.
6. Managing clutter takes up almost half of your housework
It’s estimated that 40% of our housework could be eliminated if we eliminated excess stuff. FORTY PERCENT!
“I feel like all I’ve done today is clean up the same messes over and over,” I’ve told Brian before. Anyone else feel like that’s the story of their life?!
What if you could just delete 40% of the work you do every day constantly picking up stuff after people, organizing stuff, putting stuff away, buying stuff? I mean, with the hour we spend every day just looking for stuff and then cutting 40% of the other stuff-management work we do, we could basically have enough free time in our schedule for a part-time job.
Or to read through all those books on your list. Or go back to school. Or be more present with your kids. Or lead that Bible Study. Or volunteer… or whatever else you’ve been thinking you want to do “someday” after the kids are older and life slows down (spoiler alert, it won’t!).
7. Clutter costs you money… a LOT of money
Have you ever bought a new item because you couldn’t find the one you have? Or you totally forgot you had the item, so you bought a new one?
When I did my first ever big closet purge, I found I had 50 pairs of underwear. FIFTY. If each pair cost around $5, that’s $250!!! I could buy eight pairs of my favorite jeans from Old Navy for that price, or all of the clothes Edison and Bennett will need for the next season.
It’s estimated that 1 in 11 Americans rents self-storage space. Then think about your phone – have you ever upgraded to get more phone storage? I paid for extra Google Drive storage at one point, and iCloud storage. That’s two monthly fees because I had too many digital files, costing me about $12 a month, or $240 a year.
8. It robs you of gratitude for what you have
Clutter falls into two main categories: things from the past that we’re holding onto, and things for the future we think we might need or things to remind us of tasks to do. It’s intrinsically focused on the past or the future, not the present. And it robs you of being able to really live fully present here and now.
Clutter keeps you from appreciating what you have now, because your view of it is obstructed. A beautiful family photo doesn’t feel special in a pile of other “meh” photos from the same trip. Or worse, when it’s buried in a pile of junk mail. Bookshelves packed to overflowing with books obstructs your view of the few books you actually love.
When you’re disorganized, you find yourself always wanting more – more time, maybe a bigger house, or a better closet system, or more drawer organizers will fix the problem. It might keep it out of sight, but before long your space will overflow again, and you’ll start shopping for the next thing.
You think “Maybe when the kids are all in school …” “When I’m not so busy…” “When I get that promotion…” there’s always a new bar to strive for, and the future seems better than the present. But all we have is right now. We don’t know what will happen in the future, to our health, our loved ones … we don’t know what struggles the future holds.
All we have is now! Don’t waste today wishing for tomorrow.
9. Clutter keeps you from loving and serving others well
In one study, people who filled out surveys in a neat room were much more likely to donate to charity versus those who worked in a messy room. When your mind is distracted by clutter, you appreciate what you have more, and you’re more likely to be generous to others.
It’s also a fact that people with hoarding disorder isolate themselves. Even those of us with a “normal” amount of clutter can find ourselves hesitating to invite someone over for a playdate, or stressing out just thinking of family coming to visit.
When we feel ashamed or guilty about our space, we’re not likely to invite others in. Of course, we know we can practice hospitality regardless of how our space looks, but it’s a lot harder to focus on meeting someone else’s needs when we’re simultaneously wondering if they’re secretly judging us.
And honestly, it’s not super relaxing for the person we’ve invited over if we’re apologizing or rationalizing the mess.
10. The opportunity cost
Opportunity cost is defined as “the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen.” Even refusing to choose is actually choosing.
The cost of not choosing what to do with the clothes that don’t fit you means they take up space in your closet where something else that would bring more joy could go. The time spent constantly picking up and cleaning is costing you the opportunity to use that time on something else – learning a new skill, spending time fully engaged with your kids, starting that new thing you’ve dreamed about doing, investing in your marriage.
The opportunities are endless. If you could create the space to really listen, what do you think God’s purpose for you in this stage of life, right now, would be? I don’t believe we’re meant to just “survive” these years, to just get through each day. I believe God wants us to truly thrive, even in the midst of toddler tantrums and diaper changes and night wakings.
“From my exploration of the art of organizing and my experience helping messy people become tidy, there is one thing I can say with confidence;” says Marie Kondo in her classic book, “A dramatic reorganization of the home causes correspondingly dramatic changes in lifestyle and perspective. It is life-transforming.”
Declutter your space, schedule, and soul
I’m a little passionate about this topic (if you couldn’t tell) and that’s why I’m creating an accessible online course to cover decluttering your space, schedule, and soul. The course will consist of video lessons and worksheets designed to create space in every area of your home and life.
We will dig into decluttering and organizing your entire home, plus your digital life, finances, and even the soul clutter that keeps you from fully experiencing the abundant life Jesus promises us. By the end, you’ll have a toolbox of the habits, hacks, and skills you’ll need to maintain your progress long after the class ends.
Interested? Pop in your email on this interest page and you’ll be the first to know about the details as they emerge.
Seeking Beta Testers
My target launch date is the first week of April, but in the meantime, I’m looking for a handful of people who would be willing to be beta testers. Maybe that’s you!
Beta Group Membership gives you the opportunity to get LIFETIME ACCESS to the decluttering course for a deep discount in exchange for providing feedback on the course content.
You’ll help me shape the course before the official launch, and as a thank you, you’ll get access to the course FOR-EVER at this one-time fee. Even if the course price goes up in the future, or I add additional content, you will still get full access. And the $49.99 basically just helps to cover the couple hours of my time that I’ll spend working with you practically one on one.
After you complete the course, I’ll ask you for your honest feedback on every aspect so we can make it even more awesome for the next class.
Beta Group Membership might be for you if…
- You want to learn decluttering and organizing from someone who is a “normal” mom. Ie., I don’t pretend I have it all together, but I have learned A LOT about how to work through decluttering, create new habits, and find freedom. I can help you do the same!
- You want a guaranteed spot in the course when it launches in April at full price ($60-100 will be the price range)
- You want personalized decluttering and organizing help for MUCH cheaper than hiring a professional organizer
- You can commit to emailing me back at least once a week to provide feedback, like what your biggest struggle is, or testing out a homework assignment
- You’d be willing to share the course with at least one friend or family member and invite them to join you
Find out more on the interest page here. If you’re reading this blog post and got this far, I know you and I are kindred spirits. I’d love to have you in my special VIP group!
