What if this year, your resolutions weren’t about problems you want to fix?
I’ve been pondering this idea. It is valuable to reflect on the past year and note what went well and what didn’t. Otherwise, we find ourselves repeating the same mistakes by default. But what if instead of focusing on “losing 10 lbs” your goal was “taking better care of myself”? That might include doing things that make you feel your best, like eating well and being active, but also taking time to rest, and de-stress.
What if you already believed you were enough, and had enough, right now? How would that change your resolutions?
What about a resolution to be lavishly generous? Or learn a new skill? To spend more time doing what makes you most alive? Maybe take another trip to Disney World because it was the most fun you’ve had in years?
I’m learning slowly that a good life is less about achieving goals and checking off to-do lists, and more about becoming who God created me to be.
So, “New Year, New You”? I’m not feeling that this year, and I bet you aren’t either.
Nothing changes at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve. But it will be a new day. A fresh start, an opportunity to be a little more patient with my kids, take better care of myself, spend more time where it counts, weed out another distraction.
A new day to make different choices. To put the phone down. To lace up my running shoes or roll out my mat.
A new day to get just a little closer to the person I want to be, everyday.
I looked up my 2018 Goals and Resolutions, and what I found surprised me. I’d achieved 9 out of 9 of my goals and resolutions. All of them! I mean, I knew my goal setting system worked, but I expected it to be more like 6 out of 9 – not 100% success!
I’m excited by how much changed last year, and also sobered. Where I focus and spend my energy each day really does determine my year. If I’m not focusing on the right things, I’m not going to end up where I want to be.
So what do I want for 2019?
My 2019 Word of the Season
As I pondered and prayed about this, one word kept coming up.
Slow.
Slow? Surely I must have heard wrong. I’m finally making traction, shouldn’t I be pushing even harder?
Have the courage to go slow.
But … why God? I asked, feeling deflated.
It’s where real, lasting growth happens.
So that’s my word for this season. As soon as I decided, I felt it looking into Bennett’s bright eyes, crinkled as he beamed up at me in toothless glee. And when Edison’s golden curly mop peeked around the doorway in the morning as he checked to see if I’m awake and ready to snuggle for a few more minutes. Slow.
In an age of instant success, going slow takes courage. It’s counter-cultural to not feel stressed and hustling. To not try to do it all. I don’t want someone to think I’m lazy, even if that perception is only in my own head. I have plenty of ambition and lots of dreams. Choosing to go slow, to not burn out – that doesn’t come naturally to me.
I know that everything comes to me through my good Father’s hand, and in his timing. No amount of hustling and “making it happen” will rush any good gifts.
But by going slow, I’m choosing to believe that I am enough, and I have enough.
And from that place, I can make my resolutions.
My 2019 Resolutions
- Take better care of myself. Too often, I put my own health on the back burner and forget it there, and I end up burning the house down. I’m working on getting better about practicing self-care, taking care of my mental health, running consistently, eating nourishing foods, and doing things that just spark joy.
- Practice radical generosity in my relationships. I want generosity to be my legacy. Financially, for sure. But also with my presence and attention. I’m investing in my little people at home, my husband, my elderly neighbor, and making new friends here in New York. I’m taking the time to write a letter, send a text, have lunch my neighbor, babysit for friends, schedule a date night… and so forth.
- Show up, and take up space. In the past, I’ve been guilty of not showing up to my own life. “Phoning it it,” as my high school drama teacher would say. Basically, I don’t want to act like a passive victim of life but instead actively involved and embracing my calling in this season, with no excuses. I’m guilty of trying to make myself small so that I don’t make anyone uncomfortable. I want to step into the space created for me, where I can make a difference in the world with my God-given gifts and skills.
Want to work on your resolutions some more? No one says you can’t start in February.
More Resources for Resolutions:
- 17 Ways to Self-Care in the Winter
- How to Make Resolutions You’ll Actually Keep
- Declutter Your Life: 155 Things You Can Get Rid of Today
What are your resolutions? Did you pick a word of the year? I want to know! Post it below! 👇🏻
